Dreaaammmweaavverrr…

(Sorrs no wedding posts again, needed a bit more detox, will be back next week in full on Sparkly Bridal Regalia, I promise!)

People ask me from time to time why I am marrying Pete. Not because people don’t think he is awesome and a total stone cold fox.

I mean, honestly. Rawr.

But because I was the Wildest of the Wild Boys in the Pre-Pete era and I think they just kind of can’t believe I am making such a sane choice. And there are a bagill reasons why I am marrying him. Not the least of which is that I find him extremely appealing for my eyeballs.

And he took me to the Britney Spears Concert when I was a cripple, and chair danced with me since I was immobile.

And ’cause he lets me be ridiculous and dress like a small child with bows in my hair, and seems to find me amusing.

But the main reason on my mind today is that he is one of the most entertaining people I have ever met and a truly fantastic liar dreamweaver. I am also astoundingly gullible.

Example:
At a cubs game last year after one of the organ jollies played between an inning he turns to me and says ever so casually, “Gosh Newell’s Grandmother is a good organ player”

Me: “Erm, sprikka de engrish?”

Pete: “The organ? That just played? That is Newell (one of our friends) Grandmother!”

This blows my mind for many, many reasons. The first of which is:

“Wait, what? That is a real organ?”

Pete does not skip a beat.

“Yeah, Wrigley is one of the few fields that still has a real organ. And Newell’s grandmother is the one who plays it. Every game”

Pete is a forking artist in his dream weaving. He doesn’t oversell it. Just simple, blase, concise.

Me: “You are lying. What the eff.”

Pete: “That is why Newell is such a big Cubs fan! She used to bring him to all of the games and she would let him sit with her while she played.”

Me: “No.Way. You are messing with me. I hate you. You are a turd. Are you serious? That is incredible!”

Pete: “I swear. You can ask Newell!”

I then text Newell

“Your Grandmother plays a mean organ”

Pete does not flinch.

Newell writes back:
“Oh good Lord. What did Pete say this time.”

I look back at Pete who is completely weeweeing his pants laughing.

I wish I could say that I felt violated or deceived by this behavior, but in reality I find it exciting and entertaining. ‘Cause when I get married I really for serious want it to be forever. And forever is like a really really really long time. And I have a raging case of ADD and get bored super easily. And I just don’t foresee boredom in my future being married to such a dreamweaver extraordinaire.

*editors note: Pete’s dreamweaving is exclusively for entertainment purposes. When it comes to real life junk he’s an Honest Abe, like to a fault, so spare me the comments about how honesty is super important in relationships.

Anyway I didn’t post this for zero reasons at all. Just one. We went to the Cubs Season Opener Monday and had a blast and a half. And Newell’s Grandma was BRINGIN’ it with the organ.

p.s. last day to enter for a chance to win supercalifragalistic giveaway!