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…Or as Pete prefers to call it, “Bailey’s Tour of Doughnuts”

But let’s start from the beginning.

Pete and I flew out of Aspen at the crickety-crack of dawn on Sunday, it was painful, and flew to New York for the night. We went to a romantical dinner at Grammercy Tavern, and were introduced to the wonderful world of English Mead.

Apppparently back in the day the term “Honeymoon” was actually coined from the tradition of newlywed couples drinking English Mead-a sort of kind of rank but also mildly yummy-honey liquor wine thing which newlyweds would drink every night for the first month of their wedding. Thus: Honey (because it is made from honey, duh) and Moon like a lunar month. Soooo my drunkenness for the next month is sponsored by English Mead.

(Mr. & Mrs. Drunky McSleepyeyes)

And now you know.

We woke up early Monday morning and went to go meet our charming vessel that would be carrying us over the high seas for the next week. I, looked fantastic:

Just in case you needed more proof…

And the boat was loverly.

We set sail for Sag Harbor, where we spent two days apple picking…

…wine tasting…

…and generally being an adorable newlywed couple.

Then it was off to Block Island for a day.

Where we spent the day riding bikes around the teensy tiny island and marveling over the sheer multitude of bars. It was incredible,

Our kind of place.

Next up was Martha’s Vineyard. Where we saw lots of pretty houses……And Pete suffered a humiliating loss to me in Bananagrams.

Honeymoons call for sexy times. Obviously. Things got wild.

On to Nantucket, where Pete discovered that hydrangeas come in blue, but not in Chicago, and that made him sad.

Then in an incredible bit of foreshadowing, a thick fog settled upon the harbor.A sign of dark things to come.

And come they did. The next morning. At breakfast.Doughnuts.

Well hello there, old friend. Seems like we meet again.

Doughnuts are one of those food stuffs that I have forced out of my brainbox. They are just too ridiculous. Can you imagine any productive, attractive, respectable person who starts out every day with a basket of doughnuts? I defy you to find me one. And so, a few years ago, I just said “Goodbye Doughnut, I will never speak of you again. We had some fun times in elementary school when people would bring you for the class for Birthdays. But that is all you are, a treat. For children. On birthdays. And I am a grown up and I have no use for you”. But then there they were. Sitting and waiting for me at breakfast one morning asking me to reconsider. And I did. I really, reealllyyy did.

But this blogpost doesn’t need to be hijacked by my rediscovered love of breakfast pastry just because our honeymoon was, so we will move on. For now.

After a few bumps in our nautical road caused by the aforementioned crazy fogness, Pete and I left the boat and headed to Newport by land where the boat would then meet us when the weather cleared.

Pete and I found Newport to be QUITE charming. Not only for its picturesque harbor, lovely Cliffwalk, and seriously unreal “mansions” (that is a whole post within itself)…But for the fact that the town hosted a wine festival in our honor. Or, at least that is how it felt.You are witnessing the consumption of a prosecco cupcake washed down with glass of prosecco. Both free. Both joy inducing.

Then the embarassing thing happened. I finally let my new husband in on the real secret of just how LARGE a fatkid I will always be inside, no matter how I try to starve her on the outside.

Candace, our lovely stewardess aboard the boat was asking us what we would like for our final breakfast on board before departing the next day. And I told her I would like to continue my now 4 day in a row morning doughnut habit, please and thank you! To which she responded, “Oh yeah that should be fine, I actually saved a few for you from our last stop…but I don’t think we have much of a variety. Only plain glazed”. I must have blacked out sometime during that statement because when I came to Pete and Candace were both laughing at me and told me that I had responded- far away look in my eye- with:

“OH! That’s ok. Plane glazed are my favorites…So are the sugar ones. I like those too because you get more sugar. I never thought I could like the crumb kind, but those were delicious! Of course, rainbow sprinkles are my favorite. But those are probably harder to find around here. There is also a bakery down the street that I saw and I can always go check with them”

I mean…in front of my HUSBAND!!!!! Complete fatkid blackout. But now the truth is out, and I think it just falls under the whole for better or worse thing comes into action. And it certainly could be worse.

Then it was the last night, which was crazy since it felt like we just got there.

We had a lovely meal aboard, and awoke in the morning to the most beautiful sight a girl had ever seen.Plan glazed, sugar, cinnamon, rainbow sprinkles…Gang’s all here!

I was very happy…Pete was happy too…for a minute.

‘Cause then it was all over.

Dreams of high seas piracy were dashed, cast back into a cold damp reality. And we were very sad. But then happy to return to our home and our pupperz as the new Mr. & Mrs. McCarthy!

I hope you guys enjoyed the honeymoon recap and are ready to go tomorrow with our first real wedding recap: The Rehearsal Dinner. With me as Blair Waldorf, which could only sound awesomer if it was instead me as Britney Spears. Blair was probably more appropriate for the occasion though. I guess.