This is a lot of words, but they are important.

I don’t know if you folks recall, but a few months ago I mentioned in a few sad-Sally posts that I was having a series of terrible horrible no good very bad days. And I really was. So much so that it has taken me all this time to figure out if it was appropriate to talk about it on this blog, and if I even wanted to. But as things tend to go over time, I have developed a much clearer perspective on everything and have decided I am ready to share.

So here it goes.

At our 20 week ultrasound our Doctor found two tumors attached to the base of our baby girls spine. They are called  Sacrococcygeal Terratomas and while they are the most common tumors found in babies, they still only occur in about 1 in 40,000 pregnancies. We were in shock.

Pete and I are both 25 years old with blessedly unremarkable medical histories. We had done the whole series of genetic tests that are offered at the beginning of a pregnancy, and had been given the least possible likelihood of any issues across the board. We knew that this was the ultrasound where most pre-screen-able birth defects are found, but I don’t think either one of us even fleetingly registered one iota of concern or worry.

During the ultrasound Pete and I both noticed the black spots by our baby girls bottom, but neither of us asked. The ultrasound tech went through explaining the various bones and organs she was measuring, but never mentioned them either. They aren’t supposed to, I guess.

Our usual Doctor was in surgery so afterwards we met with the OB on call to go over the ultrasound results. I can’t remember how he exactly he worded it, I wasn’t going to listen either way. Some people are immediately prepared for the worst. Pete is. If he can’t find his keys his usual first thought is that someone stole them or that they are gone forever. I am inappropriately optimistic. Optimistic probably isn’t the right word. I think it is more like Joan Didions magical thinking- an overly confident belief in my power over any given situation. Like Cher in Clueless I am always ready to negotiate my grade. So the full reality didn’t hit me at all, I just immediately started trying to think of ways to get my baby and I out of it.

After being rushed in and out of a few more Doctor’s offices that afternoon my magical thinking was assaulted by reality. After our second ultrasound we were sent back to the first Doctor who had quite helpfully Googled more info on our diagnosis for us. Except when things like this are going on it is not that soothing to know that your Doctor is using the same tools to help you as you just used earlier that day to figure out when Britney’s new single will be released. He handed us a sticky note with the proper spelling- S-A-C-R-O-C-O-C-C-Y-G-E-A-L T-E-R-A-T-O-M-A on it so that we could explore the terrifying world of Google medical search on our own and sent us on our way.

When we got home I went up to our bed and kept cry-screaming from my guts like maybe if I threw a most impressive fit God would go ‘ok ENOUGH your baby is FINE’ and take it all away- like a parent giving into a temper tantrum. We use what we know I guess.

We were always planning to fly to Houston the next day to visit my family for Pete’s Spring Break and luckily were able to get appointments at Texas Children’s Hospital where we met with dozens of specialists who thankfully did NOT have to Google their diagnosis. We had tons of tests and got to ask tons of questions.

We have had several ultrasounds, an MRI, and two fetal echocardiograms. We now know a lot more. We know from the echocardiograms that the tumor is not causing stress on her heart. Sometimes these tumors can be solid, large and vascular and can steal blood flow from the baby causing the heart to have to work twice as hard and go into distress or even failure. That is what normally causes fatalities in these babies. Our baby girls’ teratoma is small, cystic, and non-vascular so this is not something they are currently concerned about- although they will be monitoring it’s development closely.

Because of her condition we will now be delivering in Houston, and will be moving there in May right after Pete graduates. Texas Children’s Hospital is one of the three hospitals in the US that specialize in these types of surgeries and between their expertise and our familial support down there the decision to relocate was really no decision at all.

After she is born she will have surgery to remove the tumor, and will likely stay in the NICU for 2-4 weeks. Once she is released to us we will stay in Houston for another 2-4 weeks so that they can continue to monitor her and then we will move to Austin permanently. In the long term they will want to check on baby girl until she is about three years old to make sure that the tumor does not come back, that no cancer develops and that she has recovered normally from the surgery. In the best-case scenario she shouldn’t have any long-term affects.

It has been a month and a half since we first found out, and we are focusing on getting back to the excitement of having a baby. I have good days and bad days, but things just get easier as you get used to them. There is nothing I can do right now except hope and pray for the best, and stressing out is not going to help anything. We are putting our house in Chicago on the market, and preparing to move which is a good distraction.

I decided to share our experience with all of you because I feel like no one talks about sick babies. Or no one in my world does. It makes people very uncomfortable, understandably, and prior to experiencing this I would prefer not to really be aware of the risks of pregnancy either. It is much more fun to stalk peoples Facebook albums of happy chubby babies and imagine that is how it is for everyone and how it will be for you. And I hope it is. Sincerely and with all my heart.

But I also hope that if it isn’t, that somehow my sharing our story with you as we go along is comforting in a different way. Our baby is sick and we are really really scared. Giving my baby over to Doctor’s after she is born so that she can have an invasive surgery terrifies me every time I think about it and makes me want to head back into my tear soaked wet blankets. The fact that I won’t bring her home to the life her daddy and I have dreamed for her right away, and that she will have to stay in a hospital surrounded by machines makes me want to vomit. But I know in my heart of hearts it is going to be ok. I believe that we will eventually be able to bring our cuddly perfect little baby girl home and post pictures of her on Facebook and dress her in funny outfits and kiss her until our lips are chapped and all of those normal things we visualized before we knew about all of this.

So we are going to continue things around here in a reflection of our new normal. Some days I will be posting about fun design stuff, and cute baby nursery ideas, and Britney. And some days I am going to tell you that I feel like this is all my fault and that I just want to curl up into a ball and cry.

I will be editing myself a bit as I am aware that my words could one day affect the precious little nugget in my belly, and I don’t want to say anything about her condition that could one day embarrass her or make her feel overexposed. But I felt like it was the right thing for our little family to talk about it. Or talk about my experience at least, because not talking about it makes it feel like a secret and shameful and that can be so isolating. And because I know there must be other mommas and mommas to be out there feeling like they are the only ones going through something like this and sometimes it helps to be able to peek in on someone else’s experience for awhile.

 

Comments

  1. Super Burbs April 19, 2011 at 6:13 am

    Oh Bailey, my thoughts and prayers are with you & Pete and your precious little girl. I know we don’t even know each other – but if you need anything say the word…

    xoxo, Abby

  2. Ms. Bright April 19, 2011 at 6:16 am

    Praying for you, Pete and that beautiful baby girl in your belly.
    You’re brave as can be. Even when you’re crying. You’re still brave.

  3. The New Diplomat's W April 19, 2011 at 6:30 am

    I think you’re very right and very brave to let people know that not everything is always without struggle, especially when it comes to having children. It’s something that many take for granted. Good luck with the tough road ahead, but rest assured that mothershood will be no less a gift because of it.

  4. Zena April 19, 2011 at 6:31 am

    What a special mommy you are.. Praying for your baby girl.

  5. Cat April 19, 2011 at 6:42 am

    Bailey,
    Praying for you, Pete, and baby girl daily! Everything is going to turn out beautifully. I just know it! You’re so brave and awesome for sharing this with everyone and I truly admire you for it. One of my best friends always tells me “God won’t show you gold and give you silver.” I firmly believe it. I have Bible Study on Wednesday. Let me prayer chain begin!

  6. Genie April 19, 2011 at 6:55 am

    How tough are YOU! Color me impressed. May I twist it for you? We live in a time when Doctors can see problems before the birth and give you plenty of time to prepare – to the point of moving to a city that will give your child the best and safest start to life. How incredible is that! Take care of yourself and your little sweet child – you are already a wonderful mother!

  7. coasterkim April 19, 2011 at 7:05 am

    Sending prayers your way!

  8. Julie April 19, 2011 at 7:06 am

    How brave of you to share this. You’re right – no one wants to talk about sick babies. I am glad you decided to share this, and I hope it brings you a little peace to know that a lot of people are saying a lot of prayers for your little one. I certainly am.

  9. Helena - A Diary of April 19, 2011 at 7:42 am

    You are one special lady Bailey, thinking of you and Pete and your little one and your whole family. Be strong gorgeous for your little one. Sending lots of love and thanks for sharing, very very brave.

  10. Rachel April 19, 2011 at 7:46 am

    Bailey,
    I am so deeply sorry to hear this news, but I am truly blown away and inspired by your courage, composure, and strength. This baby is just so lucky to have you and Pete as parents. I will pray for all three of you.

  11. Catherine April 19, 2011 at 7:49 am

    Bailey, My heart breaks for you a million times over, but I’m so happy for your baby that she’s being born into a family with the knowledge, resources, love and support that will put her in the best possible care when she comes into the world. Prayers and positive energy coming your way from Raleigh!

  12. Madi April 19, 2011 at 7:53 am

    Bailey-

    I am praying for you. You are so amazing posting this story, and I hope that God has given you and Pete strength to know that you two have created something so beautiful and that HE will take care of the rest. Put everything on God. We have “prayers for the community” at the school I work at in Houston and I am going to put you and Pete and baby girl on our list, so that means you will have lots and lots of teachers and cute little kids all praying for you, Pete, and baby girl!

  13. Lindsay April 19, 2011 at 7:58 am

    Bailey, I don’t usually comment on many blogs; I mostly just read yours because of the drool-worthy fabric and house luscious-ness. Clifford = rockstar. But, darling (who I don’t know), you and your husband = rockstars. Your optimism is a wonderful and rare and fantastic trait. Your courage, commitment, and strength are amazing and enviable and you hang on to those things with everything you have. You will be fantastic parents. You’re in my thoughts.

  14. Danielle April 19, 2011 at 8:00 am

    Bailey, I was so touched by your words this morning and thank you so much for sharing this difficult time in your family’s life. My heart and prayers are with you, Pete, and your little one.

  15. Karen April 19, 2011 at 8:16 am

    Thanks for sharing this personal news with us. I admire your courage and hope we, your readers, can offer comfort at times. I’m sure you are feeling a wave of emotions right now and certainly it is a lot to handle with moving and so forth. I will pray for you daily and look forward to hearing

  16. Kristen April 19, 2011 at 8:17 am

    Baby girl is beyond fortunate that you are her mother. What a beautiful post, and (as far as editing yourself goes) if she ever reads it she will be amazed at your strength and fierce love. Blessings on you all.

  17. Karen April 19, 2011 at 8:18 am

    Sorry Bailey- mus have hit submit too quickly! Meant to say I look forward to hearing all about your awesome nursery ideas!

  18. Kimberly April 19, 2011 at 8:20 am

    I always love your posts, and this one is not an exception. Praying for you, Pete, and your sweet baby girl!

  19. Gina April 19, 2011 at 8:22 am

    Bailey, Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  20. Jessica Lynn April 19, 2011 at 8:30 am

    oh bailey! i am so sorry to hear this. i look at life, after losing my Dad unexpectedly when i was 23 (2 months before my wedding), that everyone has to deal with SOMETHING hard during their lifetime. be it the loss of a job, a family member with a disability, a divorce, etc. this must be your “something.” hoping for a easy transition/move for the three of you and that all of these tears that you are crying now will be a distant memory in a few months. xoxooxox.

  21. Catherine April 19, 2011 at 8:31 am

    Praying for you and you’re family.

  22. Nikki April 19, 2011 at 8:36 am

    Many Hug to you and your family.

  23. Megan April 19, 2011 at 8:45 am

    🙁 It makes my heart sad to read this post but let’s turn that frown upside down. My sister was born with major heart problems, had MANY surgeries (the first within days of delivery), 2 heart transplants and a kidney transplant (the first at 2 years), and a bazillion other health issues. They never thought she’d see her 10th birthday. She’s 22, married, and just graduated college.

    God never gives you something you can’t handle. He sees how strong you are and what wonderful parents you both will be and knows you can handle this bump in the road. 10 years from now you’ll look back and be grateful for the strength this experience will have given you.

    Either way, many many many prayers will come your way from all of your internet buddies.
    God Bless!

  24. Mimi April 19, 2011 at 8:58 am

    Bailey, you’re truly an amazingly courageous woman for sharing such a personal struggle with us. I believe that the strength that you and Pete have are surely flowing through her and she’ll make it through.
    Praying for you, Pete and your precious princess.

  25. Megan April 19, 2011 at 9:04 am

    I came across your fabulously awesome blog when I saw ALL of your wedding pics on Style Me Pretty. (BTW, ricidulously awesome) And I think that you are a brave woman. And fabulous, and witty, and creative, and I wish you and your sweet husband all the best….and will be praying for your baby too. ~Megan

  26. Wendy Norman April 19, 2011 at 9:14 am

    Bailey, that was sucha brave post! Thank you for sharing such a painful personal experience with all of us. I may not know you in real life, but it’s encouraging to know that everyone (even fabulous bloggers) has good and bad days, and that there is an online community to support you through both. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers!!

  27. Christina April 19, 2011 at 9:19 am

    Praying for comfort for you and Pete on the tough days…..I know the love and happiness you exude will cocoon this baby and carry her through to a great, healthy recovery!

  28. erin April 19, 2011 at 9:31 am

    It is so amazing and inspiring that you have shared this personal experience. I had a very scary pregnancy experience, and it was gut wrenching. However, today all is well and I have an absolutely wonderful healthy child. Praying all goes well and feeling confident it will.

  29. Shannon April 19, 2011 at 9:31 am

    I’m really sorry to hear about this but I’m sure everything will be fine and your little girl will pull through this like a champ. Sending you thoughts and prayers.

  30. just a girl April 19, 2011 at 9:35 am

    There is nothing scarier than dealing with the unknown, especially when in regards to your unborn baby. I thank you for this personal post; I’m sure it was difficult to write. This baby girl is so lucky to have you and Pete all that you will offer. I believe that God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle and as impossibly hard as this seems it just means that you are as impossibly strong. My thoughts and prayers are with you all!

  31. Deanna April 19, 2011 at 9:41 am

    Praying for the peace that surpasses all understanding to guard your heart and mind in the coming days for you and your husband. Praying for health and healing for your sweet baby girl.

  32. lisa April 19, 2011 at 9:44 am

    praying for you and your family.

  33. Leslie April 19, 2011 at 9:46 am

    I will be praying for you and your little girl and a swift and easy move. Thanks for sharing.

  34. christine April 19, 2011 at 9:49 am

    My heart goes out to you and your family through this tough time! Thank you for sharing!

  35. Johanna April 19, 2011 at 9:51 am

    I’m sorry to hear you’ve all been under so much stress. Sending lots of hugs your way…your baby girl is going to be a fighter and with all the prayers you’re going to receive…everything will be A-OK. I believe that. Hang in there!

  36. Sheila April 19, 2011 at 9:52 am

    Just want to let you know that I will be keeping you, Pete and your sweet baby girl in my thoughts and prayers. She is a very lucky girl to have a mama like you.

  37. whistplerpotpie April 19, 2011 at 9:52 am

    Sending you, Pete and baby love and light.

  38. Haley April 19, 2011 at 10:08 am

    Bailey,

    You dont know me, but I follow your blog every day. I thinking about you, your husband, and your baby. Ironically, I am interviewing at Texas Children’s today for a nursing position in the NICU. Your baby will be in good hand and will be getting the best treatment. Please email me if you have any questions regarding the NICU or just anything else. Keeping you in my thoughts

  39. janebird April 19, 2011 at 10:13 am

    just like brit brit, YOU are going through life like a karate kid! you are strong strong strong.

  40. Kerry April 19, 2011 at 10:14 am

    From one mama to be to another… thinking of you and your family! Your little girl is so lucky to have such strong and brave parents, and I’m sure she’ll take after both of you! All the best! xo

  41. Jennifer April 19, 2011 at 10:18 am

    Your courage is so inspiring! As I new mommy, I know how scary all of this can be. It’s amazing what doctors can do for teeny tiny babies these days and those Houston doctors are the best around. You, Pete and your little girl are in my prayers!

  42. Sarah S. April 19, 2011 at 10:19 am

    Oh Bailey, I’m SO sorry to hear this news! Your entire family is in my thoughts and prayers- and I know there are many other people out there praying for your sweet baby girl so I hope y’all feel wrapped in love and comfort. What an ironic coincidence (and blessing) that Texas Childrens’ is one of The Places to Go for this type of surgery. I’m so glad you’ll be close to family! Sending much love to you all! xoxo

  43. Liz April 19, 2011 at 10:19 am

    Thinking of you and wishing you all the best! Houston Childrens is amazing im sure they will take wonderfull care of baby mcCarthy!

  44. Melanie April 19, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Bailey, I can’t imagine what you are going through. You are a very strong woman, and it’s good to talk about it and get it all out. I will be thinking of you and saying a prayer. Our son came out with a terrible infection and had to be in the NICU for 2 weeks. IT’s heart breaking not to bring them home, but it’s also re-assuring to know they are in the best hands and under the most amazing supervisision. Thanks for sharing your story…

  45. a April 19, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Oh Bailey,
    Thank you for sharing this. I am 9 weeks and have those same tests coming up in the next few weeks. My fears are there, but I just push them to the back of my head trying to cloud them with happy thoughts. Your sweet girl is going to have the bestest, strongest, loviest parents to help her thru this time. God picked you to be her parents because he/she knew you could handle the fears and protect this sweet little girl. Everything will work out. HUGS.

  46. Wesley Elizabeth April 19, 2011 at 10:21 am

    They’re right you know – God gave you this because you’re 1 in 40,000 families who are tough enough to deal with it, brave enough to make the scary choices and loving enough to sacrifice everything about your lifestyle for the health and hope of your baby.

    “I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat, I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

  47. Claire Farmer April 19, 2011 at 10:23 am

    the Lord is your healer…here is a gal from my hometown who just gave birth to her beautiful baby girl. Not the same baby situation but same mommy fears. Hope you find some comfort in their faith and perspective.

    http://giftsfromgrace.blogspot.com/2011/03/graces-birthday.html?spref=fb

  48. Jessica April 19, 2011 at 10:26 am

    I am praying for you and your sweet baby girl. Thank you for posting this. I suffered from severe prenatal depression and anxiety, and I admire women who share their not-so-pleasant experiences with pregnancy and childbirth. You are helping women going through similar experiences feel less alone.

  49. Jenny at LGN April 19, 2011 at 10:27 am

    Bailey, what an incredibly scary trial you and your husband are going through. Hold tight to that feeling (your mother’s instinct) that everything is going to be okay. And make sure Pete tells you that too – it helps. There is major power in positive thinking when you feel like life is out of your control.
    Sending happy thoughts and prayers to you and your family…
    love,
    Jenny

  50. Naomi@DesignManifest April 19, 2011 at 10:27 am

    My Heart goes out to you Bailey. You are a strong, smart, vivacious and healthy woman and I have no doubt your daughter will be the same way. You’ve got all of us praying in your corner!

  51. random April 19, 2011 at 10:31 am

    Thank you so much for sharing this. It was incredibly brave and I respect you so much for not pulling the wool over everything and pretending like your life is perfect. You are an incredibly smart, resourceful woman and I know you will do everything in your power to get your baby girl the best care possible.

  52. courtney blackburn April 19, 2011 at 10:32 am

    bailey you and your family are in my prayers… i am so sorry to hear about this but i know deep down that y’all will get through it! stay strong! 🙂

  53. Tori April 19, 2011 at 10:32 am

    Bailey,
    All my love and prayers go out to you, Pete and your sweet baby girl. Your strength is incredible and your baby is lucky to have such smart, assertive and loving parents. All the best to you and your family and your sweet little angel.

  54. Christine April 19, 2011 at 10:33 am

    So sorry Bailey. Best wishes to all three of you and don’t loose your optimism, that’s one of the best things you can hold on to in times like these.

  55. Britt April 19, 2011 at 10:34 am

    The words you wrote were so honest and real. I honor all your love and kind heart. You and your family will always be in my prayers.

  56. jen April 19, 2011 at 10:37 am

    what an eloquently written post on a difficult subject that many people shove under the rug. praying for you and your family bailey!

  57. Melissa April 19, 2011 at 10:40 am

    Wow I can’t even imagine how scary this must be for you – but sounds like you have found an amazing Dr and I know you have an amazing family so I will say a prayer for you, the baby girl, and your families.

  58. kristin April 19, 2011 at 10:41 am

    My thoughts and prayers go out to you, Pete and your baby nugget. I know your fun personality and optimistic outlook on life will get you through this and lead you to motherly bliss!

  59. sarah April 19, 2011 at 10:43 am

    This baby is going to be a badass, just like her mama.

    Can’t wait to shower her with love once she is here with us in Texas!

  60. jenn m April 19, 2011 at 10:46 am

    You, Pete and your darling baby girl are in my thoughts and prayers. All my best to your family.

  61. stacy April 19, 2011 at 10:46 am

    you are so brave to share, our now healthy 8 year old had and ovarian tumor that they found in utero, and it was about the scariest thing to hear at the time. I hope your move goes off without a hitch and your friends, family and team of doctors bring you support and comfort.

  62. Amy April 19, 2011 at 10:50 am

    Your honesty is inspiring. You, Pete and your baby girl will be in my prayers!

  63. AnnMarie April 19, 2011 at 10:53 am

    Bailey, I’ve been reading your blog a few months now and have been so inspired by you and how much you’ve accomplished (at the same age as me). I know you’ll continue to be an inspiration for others as you make it through this road bump..I pray that your little one recovers quickly and makes all this worry a distant memory.
    Best wishes to you and your family!

  64. Jaclyn April 19, 2011 at 11:00 am

    I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been going through such scary things during what is supposed to be one of the most exciting and joyful times of your lives. You’ll all be in my thoughts and prayers.

  65. Kelly April 19, 2011 at 11:00 am

    LOVE YOU

  66. Jessica April 19, 2011 at 11:08 am

    What an inspiring post – I’ve been reading for months but have not yet made a comment (although I’m always lol’ing at your writing) Just wanted to let you know that I admire your strength and optimism. She’ll be in the best care and will have so much love. And she’ll be so proud of you when she reads your blog as a teen and realizes how strong you were throughout all of this! hugs

  67. Maura April 19, 2011 at 11:13 am

    Bailey you sweet girl, I’m so sorry that you and your family have to go through such heartbreak! Sending you positive energy, love and lots of prayers for your baby to clear this terrible hurdle with flying colors. Stay brave!

  68. mal April 19, 2011 at 11:15 am

    He may not succumb to tantrums…but I’ve always been told He doesn’t throw things your way that you can’t handle. That combined with your optimism and incredible support group will undoubtedly get you through this! Thinking of you and your precious little girl, Bailey!

  69. Emmy April 19, 2011 at 11:18 am

    Bailey, I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been going through so much on your own and I’m very glad you’ve decided to share your story so you can see how much support you have. My older brother had scary surgery right when he was born and he’s just fine now! I’m sure you and Pete will be very well taken care of, and I’m happy for you that you’ll be close to your family. And your internet fans will all be here sending you three love!

  70. Erin April 19, 2011 at 11:20 am

    Bailey, a friend told me about your blog months ago and it has been a daily treat ever since but I have never commented–just enjoyed–until now. I live in Old Town and work at Children’s Memorial Hospital in Chicago. Houston is a great place and you will be in great hands. In the interim, rest assured that if you ever needed anything while you are still in the city–CMH has a top rated NICU as well. Your whole family, especially baby girl McCarthy, are in my thoughts and prayers.

  71. Janet April 19, 2011 at 11:20 am

    I’m am avid reader and in love with your style. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your husband, and the beautiful baby lady you are carrying. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way through the rest of this journey.

  72. Mackenzie {Design Darling} April 19, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Bailey, you were so right to share this with your readers and you should know that we are all rooting for you and your adorable family. Never let yourself feel isolated; there are too many people out here who care about you greatly for you to be alone. I will be praying for baby bliss, for the quick sale of your Chicago home (and who wouldn’t want to snatch it up after it’s been published?!), and for your health and happiness. I wholeheartedly support the mix of pretty and personal and am inspired by your example of bravery and candor in sharing your experience. XOXOXO to Chicago and back!

  73. Lisa Beaman April 19, 2011 at 11:27 am

    Dear Baily,

  74. Katie April 19, 2011 at 11:28 am

    You are SO brave to write this post, and your courage to face this head on with such grace is inspiring. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  75. Lisa Beaman April 19, 2011 at 11:32 am

    Dear Baily,I have been reading your blog for a long time. I am sorry for your scary news. I will be thinking of you and praying for your sweet little girl. I know with the help of your family and friends, you will all pull through.

  76. C April 19, 2011 at 11:36 am

    If anyone can handle this, it’s YOU!! you are so blessed and amazing and have such a strong support system. You and Pete are in my thoughts through this heartbreaking challenge!

  77. Lauren @SDLife April 19, 2011 at 11:37 am

    Bailey,

    I’m praying that your sweet little bundle makes a rapid recovery.

    You’ll have all the support in the world here in Houston and from your readership nationwide. I’m glad you’ve decided to share such a scary and uncertain time in your life. I hope it brings you peace and support and allows you to think about happy times to come. Like when that little girl first grasps your finger and looks into you and Pete’s eyes and knows that she has the best parents in the world.

    Lots of love, prayers and wonderful healthy wishes for you and your family.

    Lauren

  78. Michelle April 19, 2011 at 11:37 am

    Brave girl. Hang in there! It is so inspiring to see you take action, to advocate for your baby girl, and to be so open about it. You got this – your little family is going to be so strong, happy, and have chapped lips all around! Take care!

  79. KP April 19, 2011 at 11:39 am

    I can’t WAIT to meet baby gurrrrl and play with her alll of the time. 🙂

  80. Jordan April 19, 2011 at 11:42 am

    Keeping you & Pete in my prayers.

  81. lynn April 19, 2011 at 11:44 am

    Love and prayers to you and yours from California.

  82. Jess April 19, 2011 at 11:46 am

    I’ll be keeping your family and precious baby girl in my thoughts! Good Luck for a quick sell on your Chicago home and that you have an easy and stress free pregnancy!

  83. Cynthia April 19, 2011 at 11:55 am

    Bailey — My heart absolutely breaks for you upon reading this post. I will definitely be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Y’all will make it through this and seem to have a very supportive circle of friends and family to help.

    I know that I am a stranger, but I live in Houston and if there is anything you need, anything at all, please let me know.

    God bless!

  84. Alaina @ Live Creating Yourself April 19, 2011 at 11:57 am

    I think that is really wonderful for you to put this out there. Know that I think about you and Pete every day and love you both.

    A

  85. EJR April 19, 2011 at 11:58 am

    oh bailey 🙁 I recently had a friend that went through a similar situation, 24 years old and they detected a heart condition on her an ultrasound for her first child. Luckily it seems like she is out of the clear. I hope you and Pete find yourself with a healthy chubby baby girl when all this is through. You are so brave for sharing this news. You have the right to cry, what’s happening to your family is awful. The next year or so of your life sounds pretty scary and I sincerely wish that your baby girl is healthy when all is said and done.

  86. Melissa April 19, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    Bailey,

    I just wanted to say that my brother suffered from tumors on his spine as well. Even though he was not a baby when they found them (he was 19), he probably had them for a long time and never knew it until a freak allergic reaction caused him to have a chest x-ray that discovered them. I don’t remember the name exactly but it sounded similiar to the one you say your baby has. Because of location (his were protruding from his spinal cord and bulging out the spinal column, he obviously had major surgery and spent about 6 months regaining his mobility and strength but is doing great several years later. My point in telling you all this is that yes its scary, but you have a plan and a good team of doctors who will ensure the best possible outcome for your daughter. As a mother myself it is hard to not be afraid of things like this, but you’ll be brave and strong for her because she will be looking to you on how to react. Good luck and many blessings!

  87. Mariana April 19, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    Bailey–you and Pete are in our thoughts and prayers. We all love you and will be thinking of you every day.

  88. Melissa April 19, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing, I think there are more moms to be out there than you know who appreciate it.

  89. maddie April 19, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    BQD,

    before anyone knew about any of this business i told you that your sweet bebe would be the most loved and blessed and worshipped little nugget there ever was. it’s true. she isn’t even born yet and people who don’t even know her (or you, really) are showering her with warmth and kisses and hope and prayers, all because you had the strength and good grace to share your story with the world. you are one tough cookie, and she will be too. love you mucho.

    MLM

  90. ashley April 19, 2011 at 12:09 pm

    Oh Bailey! I am so sorry to hear about this! As hard as it is to believe when presented with something so scary, know that God never gives us more than we can handle. Baby girl is in fabulous hands with fabulous parents. She is going to be a-okay. Big prayers and bear hugs to you and Pete!

  91. Amber April 19, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    Bailey – you come across as such a strong mother already – I really admire the way you have shared what’s going on with your baby girl. You hold on tight to your dreams and optimism, and accept the tough moments as challenges. Your baby will be so loved, so loved.

  92. Kate Collins April 19, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Bailey, I’m so sorry that you and your husband have to got through this. You are an amazing person and one things I’ve always love about you, from your posts, is your optimism. Hold on to that. I think it will help. You, Pete and your baby are in my thoughts and prayers.

  93. Bre April 19, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    Bailey, you are a true inspiration. You are not just handling this situation, but you are doing so with exceptional wisdom and grace. Sending you and your family love and cyber hugs!

  94. Kris10 April 19, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    Please know your baby, you, and your husband will be in my prayers.

  95. leMel April 19, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    you and pete are going to be the best parents are so blessed to have such a strong support network! love yall both and can’t wait to meet baby gracey poo 🙂

  96. Emily O'Brien April 19, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    Bailey, what courage you have. You all will be in my thoughts and prayers. As a soon to be mama too, you inspire me with your strength.

  97. Hana April 19, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    my heart truly goes out to you and your little family. hold on to your optimism and take it one day at a time. xo

  98. Andrea April 19, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    I am so sorry to hear this. Thank you for sharing. I live in Houston and will be delivering our first baby at St. Luke’s this summer as well (I am assuming that’s where you are delivering if baby is being treated at Texas Children’s). I am sure you probably have it all figured out already, but if you have any questions, just shoot me an email. I know you mentioned before that you were attempting a natural birth because of your needle-phobia, so if interested I have a great doula that some friends have used. She’s awesome! Take care!

  99. Kelly April 19, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    Bailey,
    You are truly full of courage. What an important post to share. I know your sweet bebe is going to have an AWESOME family. This post is a testament to the kind of support and love she will encounter all her life. You and Pete are in my prayers as is your sweet girl. xo

    Kelly

  100. Carissa April 19, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Your optimism is such a gift… your little baby girl is lucky to have you as a Mom.

  101. Beth April 19, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    So so so sorry that you are dealing with all this. It’s strange because I don’t even REALLY know you just read this blog, but after reading your post this morning I found myself thinking about it throughout my morning and I just feel so awful for you. Keeping you and your baby in my thoughts/prayers

  102. alison@MLHP April 19, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    You are stronger than you know – and you will be amazed not only by your strength, but by that of your baby girl.
    So, so many thoughts and prayers are being sent your way, and now, too, from Brazil.

  103. Heather April 19, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    My thoughts and prayers are with you both. That baby girl is super strong and she is beyond lucky to have such amazing parents… Hugs to you and your sweet one!!! Heather

  104. caroline i April 19, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    i’ve never commented on a blog before but i have loved keeping up with you on peppermint bliss and am so sorry to hear your news. your positive attitude and strength will help you get through everything and austin will be here to welcome you and the baby with open arms!

  105. Jennifer April 19, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    Bailey, Pete, and Baby Girl – I am praying for all of you!!!

  106. Kelly April 19, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    I found out that we were expecting just over a month ago and instead of being filled with happy unicorn and rainbow feelings I’ve had an almost constant fear and dread (which i’ve never told anyone about) about “what if”. What if something goes wrong? How would I ever handle it? Then (and this might sound cheeseball but i’m 100% serious) I thought about all your baby related blog posts. The absolute joy and giddy elation you have for your baby inspired me to be thankful and allow myself to get really excited (and start thinking about nursery decor). And now, the way you’ve handled this unexpected turn of events, you continue to be an inspiration. Thanks for sharing your life with us. Virtual hugs coming your way!

  107. Natalie April 19, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    sending happy, healthy thoughts out to you and your family! reading your blog is a fun part of my day, and i think it’s excellent that you felt you could share on here. look at how many people are pulling for you! we look forward to welcoming you back to texas, too 🙂
    chin up; you have the best hospital on your team in this, and your optimism will go a long way!

  108. Anonymous April 19, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    I found your blog just after I miscarried in February and really have enjoyed reading all of your posts (baby and design). You are right, things of this nature are not talked about enough. And though the answer always seems to be, “it is very common”, it is still easy to feel very alone. Especially when it seems like everyone around you are having picture perfect pregnancies. Talking about it is good. I pray for you, your husband and your baby girl. Thank you so, so much for being so candid. It will help others more than you will ever know, and I hope you do find comfort in sharing your story. xo

  109. Heather April 19, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    Bailey – You probably don’t remember me but we went to Kent together and I follow your blog through the magic world of fb. This post brought me to tears. You were always so bright and full of life and I know this must be such a hard time for you and your family. Good thoughts and hugs coming at you!

  110. Mackenzie April 19, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    Bailey,

    I am so sorry about all this. Thank you for sharing the good and the bad with us and continuing to be an inspiration to all your readers. My heart goes out to you and Pete and I will be praying for your little family!

    Mackenzie

  111. ecq April 19, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    stay strong, bailey!! prayers to you and your little family!! xo

  112. Alex April 19, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    Praying for you, Pete and your baby girl!

  113. christine April 19, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    This was a beautifully written letter that one day, your beautiful little girl will read and smile upon, knowing that her mommmy had such strength and loved her so much, even before she was born. Sending warm hugs and many prayers your way:) xo

  114. Danielle April 19, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog for a while now but never commented until now…I’ll be praying for you and your sweet baby and I know you’ll both be in good hands at Texas Children’s Hospital. I admire your strength and I am praying for your family.

  115. Katie April 19, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    You are in my thoughts and prayers. Your amazing grace, strength and humor will get you through these hard times. And its ok to get back into your nugget and cry with the dogs.

  116. Frannie April 19, 2011 at 2:27 pm

    Bailey, I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. I check your blog daily and have been following your baby news as I am also pregnant. I hold my breath everytime we go in for a check up, convinced something will be wrong. Probably because I work with the “sick babies” no one talks about. Actually they do, but they’re not the ones we hear about the most… Just wanted to give you some encouragement. I work with babies with many different kinds of challenges. One of the largest factors in their success is their families and you two are obviously so devoted to this little one who has yet to make it into this wide world. You will be great, and there will be challenges, but there will also be many rewards. Hang in there and thank you for being brave enough to share your story.

  117. Maggie April 19, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    Bailey-

    I read your blog daily and I’ve loved how you have allowed us to to walk with you as you experience each chapter in your life. Thank you for sharing this one with us as well, as I know it will be helpful to other parents who have been through similar challenges. You are all in my prayers!

  118. Molly April 19, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    Bailey– I am in love with your blog, and I unfortunately read this post while at work and started crying. I will keep you, Pete, and baby girl in my thoughts. Thank you so much for sharing. You are such an inspiration in so many ways (ps when I’m having a bad day, I go back and look at your wedding posts — weird/creepy much?).

  119. Sara April 19, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    Bailey,
    You are very courageous and brave! I enjoy reading your blog so much. You are so full of life and warmth and spunk. Thank you for opening your heart to us. You and Pete are going to be fantastic parents to this very lucky little girl! Big hugs and warm thoughts, Sara

  120. Allie April 19, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    Bailey, I just read your blog post and i want you to know that i am going to keep you in my thoughts and my prayers! I hope you and Pete will stay strong and keep your bright and wonderful spirits about you! I am so glad to know that you have an amazing support team of family and friends. Your spirit is an inspiration to me! xo

  121. amymezzell April 19, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Thank you for sharing! You just enlarged your group of caring and supportive family! I think blogging is a great idea; we’re praying for you and your little family!

  122. Shannon April 19, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    Oh my gosh, there are really no words to say, except I really hope that everything is okay and that you and the baby are in my thoughts and prayers xo

  123. McLaughlin April 19, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    Bailey – I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now and, though I’ve laughed a ton and think you (and every darn thing you say) are amazing, haven’t commented until now. I just read your post and nearly started crying at work – I can’t believe poor you and Pete have to go through this, but if I’ve learned anything about you two in the past year it’s that you are positive, upbeat, strong and in love and will absolutely make it through this trying time only to give babygirl more love than she ever imagined. Please know you are loved by all of us and that we will be right here with you every step of the way! xoxo

  124. Joelle April 19, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    you and your baby girl are in my thoughts. I hope you can find some comfort in knowing you have amazing support in all your faithful readers. thank you for sharing your story.

  125. Patrice April 19, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    Bailey,

    You sweet lady, your baby is so lucky to have such a brave, courageously honest and loving mother. You three are in my thoughts and I hope I see you soon back in Texas!

  126. Ana April 19, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I will keep your family in my continued prayers.

  127. Kate April 19, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    From a fellow Kent & GW grad, I wish you and your family the best as you continue to learn to cope with this news and take on the challenges ahead. From finding ways to have a blast at the Student Center, to exploring Foggy Bottom, you’ve always had a smile on your face. Your baby, if even the slightest bit like you, is sure to be a beautiful, happy bundle of joy even if it takes her a couple of weeks or years to get into the life you have imagined for her. Best, best wishes to you, Pete and your baby girl!

  128. Brittany April 19, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    Bailey, you are amazing. It takes someone very strong to admit that they are scared. You are already an amazing mother- bringing your sweet little miss into a world of truth and honesty. I once heard a quote I love “The fragility of crystal is not a sign of weakness, but of fineness”- the fact that you are being open and truthful about it is so admirable. Lots of prayers and good vibes to you all.

  129. Vashti April 19, 2011 at 4:58 pm

    Hey Bailey, So so sorry to hear about your beautiful baby girl. I, like the many other people commenting on this post, read your blog daily. Confession: I might get a little giddy when I see that a new post comes up, your optimism, sense of style, and fabulousness never cease to brighten my day and make me smile. You, Pete and your baby will of course be in my thoughts and prayers!

    Also, I’m sad to hear Clifford will be going back on the market. He is so incredibly fabulous. I hope we get to see the decorating process unfold itself again in Texas.

    xoxoxoxoxoxoox

  130. Maggie April 19, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    Aww Bailey. Sometimes we don’t find out how strong we are until we need to be strong. I know that you and your baby girl will be fine. It is wonderful that you can move to somewhere that she will recieve the best care possible, and be near loved ones as well. And just think- you’ll be able to decorate another new house! Tiny Silver Lining! 🙂

    Wishing and Praying for nothing but the best for your family.

  131. iris April 19, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    Bailey, I’m so sorry for your worry and blues. I don’t have a wee little person for myself so I can’t even imagine what it is like to be pregnant in the first place, let alone knowing that you and your family have some extra hurdles to jump. However what I do know, (without knowing you or Pete at all except through your blog!) is that the baby is made from all of the absolute best parts of the two of you. No matter what happens, that precious little lady will grow up in a house where she is absolutely adored, and you and Pete will have each other to go through everything together, both through the bummers, and through the absolutely magical magnificent times. Chin up, girl! Keep being your fabulous, shiny, happy self! Everything turns out ok in the end. If its not ok, then its not the end. Sending good vibes to you, Pete, little miss, and the doggies.

  132. Whitney April 19, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about your sweet girl!!! But I’m glad to hear she’ll be a Texan! I’ll be praying for you and your little nugget’s strength and health!

  133. Ashley April 19, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    Your baby is so lucky to have such loving parents. Stay strong!

  134. Michelle April 19, 2011 at 6:11 pm

    You, Pete and sweet baby girl will be in my prayers. My friends went through this exact same thing three years ago and everything is absolutely fine now. Stay strong and optimistic!

  135. therobynnest April 19, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    Magical thinking is a powerful thing Bailey. My heart goes out to you and I can’t help but cry, thinking of you handing her over when she’s born, or having to do anything that wasn’t in your plan with her. She’s in great hands. Texas is lucky to have you back.

    Robyn

  136. Aunt Cinnie April 19, 2011 at 6:35 pm

    This Baby has the most courageous, loving parents, with hearts the size of Texas. It’s a comfort to know you will all be in caring hands, providing the very best of care. Love and Kisses to you all!

  137. Robin April 19, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    You are so right that nobody seems to talk about “sick” babies–at least until you’re brave enough to tell them about your own situation. And then it’s amazing how many things can and do go wrong. We found out at our first ultrasound (14 years ago…) that we were having twins, but our joy quickly turned to fear when we heard that something was very wrong with the baby boy. We, too, were whisked from doctor to doctor and back for another ultrasound that day–not knowing what to expect each time. After being monitored every two weeks throughout my pregnancy, we lost our little boy, but his twin sister was born (seven weeks early) without any complications. She is now a happy, healthy teenager–but your story brought back all of those old feelings like it was yesterday. I’m so sorry that this joyful time isn’t quite as it should be for you and Pete. Stay strong though and I feel confident that things will turn out fine. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

  138. Jessica April 19, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    warmest prayers. have faith! 🙂

  139. Hillary April 19, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Hey Bailey, I’m so sorry to hear about the health of your little one. I have been dealing with a lot of health problems with my reproductive organs (haven’t had a baby yet!) and I know how hard it can be to feel really sad, angry, frustrated, and that it’s all just really unfair! It is, but, your baby girl will be great. There is a great book, when you’re ready, that really helped me — it’s called Wild Feminine. Some of it is a little out there, but most of it is really helpful when you’re feeling like your body somehow let you down. Stay positive and treat yourself well!

  140. Maca Martinez April 19, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    Querida Bailey, hace más de un año que sigo tu blog y disfruto cada post que compartís en el. A travéz de Peppermintbliss disfruté de los preparativos para la boda, la evolución de Clifford, tus aventuras con Pete y la felíz noticia de la llegada de vuestra beba. Esta noticia es dura y tal como lo decís, no cuadra en lo que uno se imagina que sería la dulce espera. El punto Bailey es que de esta prueba, tanto Pete como Vos, van a salir adelante y ayudar a vuestra bebita si luchan contra la desesperanza y el derrotismo. Vos sos una mujer super fuerte y de buen corazón. A tu lado está Pete que te ama y que haría cualquier cosa por tu felicidad. Juntos fortalézcanse y apoyense para que la pequeña niñita pueda sortear los primeros meses de vida con el soporte amoroso de dos papás fuertes y convencidos de que todo saldrá bien. Si lo deseás desde el fondo del corazón y le pedís ayuda a Dios con el alma, todo va a solucionarse. Confianza, valor y fe Bailey! Te mando un abrazo gigante y todo el cariño del mundo. Voy a incluirte en mis oraciones a partir de ahora pues como todos los que te seguimos, ya te tengo muchísimo cariño. Adelante Bailey, es una prueba más de la vida y vos vas a sortearla con éxito. XoXo

  141. Lauren Walters April 19, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    I am praying for you both and of course for your baby girl!! She is so lucky to have such a strong mom and dad!
    -Lauren

  142. Amy April 19, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    If your little girl is anything like her Momma (and I’m positive she is), she will kick it’s ass and get right on with living the life you’ve both dreamed of for her. Prayers are with all of you!

  143. Sarah April 19, 2011 at 8:51 pm

    Your sweet baby, you and husband are all in my prayers. Thanks for posting your story. I am a momma and I know about the hard stuff-it’s hard but it makes you a tough momma. You’ll learn to fight for your daughter and you’ll amaze yourself. Sounds like she’s getting first class care and going to be surrounded by so much love!

  144. Gracey April 19, 2011 at 8:55 pm

    Bailey,

    Sending lots of love and prayers to you, Pete, and your little baby girl!

  145. Kaitlyn G April 19, 2011 at 9:31 pm

    All I can do is say you,Pete,and your baby girl are in my thoughts and prayers and I know all of you guys will get through this with your heads held high!

  146. Cindy @cindykrenek April 19, 2011 at 9:53 pm

    I am from Houston and have a sister there who is a nurse. If there’s anything we can do to to help with this difficult time while you’re in our home city, please let us know! Our prayers are with you.

  147. NMH April 19, 2011 at 9:55 pm

    Bailey,
    Sending you lots of hugs and blogfan love. Keeping you and your little family in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing, you are such an inspiration for your readers. xx

  148. MCK April 19, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    I’m praying for your family and your sweet baby during this difficult time. Beautiful post.

  149. Morgan April 19, 2011 at 10:09 pm

    I always think about your optimism after reading your blog and after reading this post I continue to see you as such an inspiration. You’re going to be such an amazing mom, Bailey. You and your family are in my thoughts. XX

  150. Lisa April 19, 2011 at 10:10 pm

    Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

  151. Diana April 19, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    Sending warm hugs and love. I’ll be thinking of you, your husband, and baby girl. <3

  152. Colleen April 19, 2011 at 10:33 pm

    I was pregnant with my fourth baby and at one of my regular appt. When the doctor was listening to his heartbeat, it dropped. She listened again, and it dropped, again. She sent me over to the hospital to be hooked up for a stress test. Long story short, I had a c section right then and there, 5 weeks early! I have never been so scared in my life. My baby was 3 lbs. 3 oz. He stayed in the NICU for 3 weeks, had a feeding tube b/c he couldn’t suck yet and was hooked up to a heart monitor. Those 3 weeks felt like the longest time of our lives but once he came home with us, we couldn’t believe how all of a sudden it was over. That was two years ago and there have been no developmental problems EVER! Although this does not compare to what you are going through, you are stronger than you realize. God will not give you anything you can’t handle!!

  153. mci April 19, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    We have tons of friends in common, and i always feel so stalker-ish because I follow your blog so closely! This post brought me some tears. All three of you are in my thoughts and prayers, from what I can tell this baby girl is going to be in amazing hands. keep us updated, and all the very best.

  154. Nick April 19, 2011 at 11:01 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. Hearing your story brought me to tears today. My sister always said to me during my pregnancy “Believe in Your Baby!” so I thought I would pass that on to you. Sweet baby girl picked you to be her Momma. What a lucky baby girl.

  155. Lauren April 19, 2011 at 11:13 pm

    I am so sorry to read this scary news but also so very thankful that you’ve allowed your readers to learn more about you. I’ve been blogging for a little over a year now and always feel nervous hitting the submit button on a personal post. Without sounding too cheesy, I believe sharing can only help. Keeping it inside is dangerous. And I hope that writing about these fears and concerns for your precious girl will give you some peace. I will pray for you and Pete and baby girl, isn’t it the challenging things that make you that much more appreciative in the end?

    PS, I hope my comments don’t sound trite, I mean them with all sincerity.

  156. Emily April 19, 2011 at 11:43 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. You and your husband are in my thoughts. I live in Houston and live by the medical center, so if I can help with anything (recommending places to grab a bite to eat, places to live, how to deal with the humidity!, etc.), please let me know.

  157. Caitlin April 20, 2011 at 12:19 am

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You are truly incredible and will be an unbelievable mother.

    xx

  158. clh April 20, 2011 at 12:35 am

    i admire your courage.

  159. Little Gray Pixel April 20, 2011 at 3:18 am

    I can only imagine the heartache and worry this news has caused you and your family. Keep holding on strong, and I’m sure everything will work out just fine. You have a lot of people thinking about you and praying for your little one. Xoxo

  160. Andrea April 20, 2011 at 4:22 am

    Thank you for sharing, Bailey. I’m sorry you have to go through this experience feeling scared. I wish you and your wee family all the very, very best.

  161. The Zhush April 20, 2011 at 7:34 am

    Oh my Bailey, you wrote this all up so beautifully, the last part about helping others and peaking into private lives etc, is so very, very true and one of the best parts about the internet in my opinion. The way you are currently dealing with all this stress, so gracefully and still with humor is beyond admirable. My heart goes out to you and your family, and along with it, so much HOPE..as I too know that everything will be more than OK for all of you. Thank you for sharing this Bailey. Much love, Sue

  162. Connie @ Sogni e Sorrisi April 20, 2011 at 9:04 am

    So sorry you and Pete are going through this but I’m sure it will work out. Sounds like you’ve got a great team of doctors and a fabulous support system to ensure that happens. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys.

  163. April April 20, 2011 at 9:06 am

    My heart goes out to you and Pete. It sounds like you have all the information now and have a really good head on your shoulders. You guys will all come through with flying colors, I dearly hope. Will be following closely!

  164. Imogen April 20, 2011 at 9:19 am

    Hi Bailey,

    I follow your blog in Australia, and your touching post moved me greatly this morning and I have been thinking of you and your family all day. I echo all the lovely sentiments before this comment and wish you, Pete and your baby all the best. You have shared an amazingly personal story and it is inspiring to see the kind of person you are. Keep that chin up!

  165. A Casa da Vá April 20, 2011 at 10:02 am

    Bailey my dear I am sending you ALL the prayers and positive thoughts I can possibly manage to do right now, and I will continue to do so. I am really sorry you are going through these ups and downs but I am impressed with your courage to talk about this, you are brave, honest and I am sure you will be the best mommy ever! It was a blessing that you found the right doctors that will take care of the case, may many other blessings come your way!

    Hugs & kisses from Rio!
    http://acasadava.blogspot.com

  166. things that sparkle April 20, 2011 at 11:20 am

    How brave of you to put this out there for the world. I hope that we (the blog stalkers) can provide additional support to the incredible support you already have. Baby McCarthy is lucky to have parents like the both of you.

  167. Jaye April 20, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Bailey – My heart goes out to you and Pete. But as I read through your post, a calm came over me that this is going to be alright. God has special plans for “Baby.” It may take a while for us to see what those plans will be, but I for one cannot wait to see what your daughter becomes. I will be her champion. I will pray for you, Pete and “Baby.” Please try to take care of yourself and thank you for sharing your news. You are blessed.

  168. Jaye April 20, 2011 at 11:47 am

    One more thing, God blessed you with a child just after you were married….there is NO WAY that he will take her from you….

  169. LauraJane April 20, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    I always read your blog and thought your life was perfect. Your house is gorgeous, your family is gorgeous, and now you’re perfectly pregnant.

    While, it’s unfortunate that your little girl may have some challenges, I wanted to thank you for sharing your version of the story. I know the days and weeks to come are going to be hard and scary for you. I’m sure you will find more support by blogging about it than you ever anticipated.

    I am sending you my very best wishes, thoughts and hopes for you, your husband and your baby girl.

  170. Julie April 20, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    This was amazingly brave and honest of you to share this. Just know that there is a whole blog world out there wishing, hoping, and praying Little Miss McCarthy makes it through all of this and grows up to lead a perfect happy life full of sugar and sparkles! Lots of love!

  171. Calley April 20, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    Please know that all of my good thoughts and prayers are on their way through my keyboard and (hopefully ending up )in your inbox. Your baby girl is so blessed to have a wonderful mom and dad!

  172. Lindsey E. April 20, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    Bailey-big, big prayers out there for you, Pete and precious little girl. God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle and never forget he has chosen you to be the mother of this special gift. Stay strong for little pea pod and everything will turn out perfectly. She’ll be at home with you guys in that darling room in no time. Thanks for sharing and being vulnerable. You have no idea how many people you’ve touched and helped. Lots of love and hugs to you-Lindsey

  173. Kim April 20, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    Praying and thinking healthy thoughts for you, your hubby, and your lady baby! Glad that you have your family and the amazing med center in Houston to make sure everything goes smoothly. Thanks for sharing and (because I’ve never commented before) for making me laugh out loud at the computer most days.

  174. Gina April 20, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    I wish I had the perfect thing to say to you to ease some of your pain. However, I do not. What I can say to you is that I was born 4 months early with about a 10% chance of life.. I was baptized in the hospital because they were so afraid I would go at any second. When I was baptized everyone said something changed in the room. From that moment on NO LIE my condition improved. I am now 100% healthy and have been my whole life. So what I can tell you is this.. Believe in Miricles. I will be praying for u and your family! xxx

  175. Emma April 20, 2011 at 6:11 pm

    What a difficult thing to have to bear. You, your husband, and your little girl are in my prayers.

  176. Kate April 20, 2011 at 8:01 pm

    ” Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.” C.S. Lewis
    Bailey (Pete and Pink Baby too)…God needs you and your story (which you so bravely shared) to teach us all about miracles. The miracle of life, the miracle of love, the miracle of laughter, the miracle of courage….the miracle of family. Your joy, fearlessness, and delight made you His clear choice…for only those with extra big hearts are chosen for extra big work. Let those that love you near and love you from afar (or behind an anonymous screen) support you why you do this heavy lifting…..
    With healing and peace filled thoughts, you remain in my prayers…

  177. Paige April 20, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    Those in your world may not want to talk about sick babies, but you have an online world willing to listen, who have open hearts and lots of prayers!

  178. Shaina April 20, 2011 at 9:24 pm

    Bailey, I’m so sorry that you and Pete and Baby Girl are going through this, but I will echo everyone else’s sentiments and say that y’all will get through this, despite the change of plans and the change of brain-plans. 🙂 Sending lots of love and interweb hugs.

  179. Lindsey April 20, 2011 at 10:18 pm

    Sending love, hugs and warmth your way. You and your entire family are in my thoughts.

  180. Jess April 21, 2011 at 12:18 am

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I know it’s hard to talk about, and even harder to deal with, but you are so brave to share it on your blog. I am praying for you and your family. Much love and please keep us updated on baby girl!

  181. QueenMahin April 21, 2011 at 10:33 am

    Such a heavy load to carry. Thank you for sharing so that we, your readers, can send you prayers and thoughts of support.

  182. gina April 21, 2011 at 11:35 am

    you. are. an. amazing. woman.

    seriously. your baby girl is so lucky to have you as her momma already. i know what it’s like to experience sadness while pregnant, and i know how hard it can be to share the fear. you are brave. you are courageous, and that’s what she needs!
    not to sound all preachy, but trust in the Lord–don’t trust google, don’t trust your thoughts-that was a big learning lesson for me.
    praying for you–love from kansas city.
    xoxo

  183. Michele April 21, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    Lucky baby girl to have you for a momma. God bless you.

  184. Linnea April 21, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    This is beautifully written Bailey, something I can’t image was easy given the content. Sending lots of good thoughts your way:)

  185. Amber April 21, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    I have just spent the last few minutes balling my eyes out.I really praise you for your strength and ability to talk about something so difficult. I am sending you love and prayers and all the courage in the world to stay strong for your beautiful baby. I am now balling again.
    xoxo Amber

  186. carlee April 21, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    sending lots of prayers your way xoxo

  187. Julie April 22, 2011 at 8:18 am

    Hi! Just wanted to let you know I’m sending lots of good vibes your way. I’ve been reading your blog for a while, but for the most part have remained a lurker. But I’m coming out of the shadows because I don’t know if you read Reagan’s Blob but I thought this post (http://www.reagansblob.com/2011/04/as-long-as-its-healthy/) she made earlier in the week was just wonderfully written and it made me think of you. Her main point was that as mothers, we love our children no matter what – whether healthy or not – and that’s what matters in the child’s life. And ya know what. It’s true. I know you and your mister will shower that baby girl with more love than she can ever imagine! xoxo

  188. rachel g April 22, 2011 at 9:31 am

    Sending good thoughts your way… good luck with the move too. I firmly believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

  189. classiccasualhome April 22, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    Offering you my prayers and sending good thoughts.
    You will be/are a wonderful mother.

  190. Simple Dwellings April 22, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    It must have been so hard to write, that. Keep trying to think very optimistically, like always! I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. What a lucky and fun loving little girl she will be! Keep smiling! 🙂

  191. Sarah April 23, 2011 at 12:28 am

    B – Thank you for sharing this part of her story with us. Your words are filled with grace, beauty, humor and enormous compassion. You are in my thoughts, as are your husband and sweet baby girl. As you know, I will be handing my precious child over to surgeons soon and I, too, am terrified. But I know in my heart of hearts that your sweet baby will astonish you with her resilience, her vigorous health and her incredible capacity for healing. XO – Sarah

  192. Angie April 23, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    Hey Bays. I have been reading your blog for a long time. I bigpuffyheartsyou. I am older than you, yet always look up to and aspire for what you and pete have. You two are awesome. I gave up a nugget. I will never forgive myself for that. I soaked my comp reading this, because I feel like you live such a charmed and blessed life, however, I see maturity and most of all grace through your circumstance and it is so inspiring. Anywho, I saw this today and put it away in my inspiration folder, for what I didn’t know, but F-it…I thought I’d share it with you, because you show me pretty pictures and show me that I can do anything. GIIIIIIIRRRRRL, Britney aint got shit on you. just sayin. Watch this. Smile. Sending you hugsies from SF.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVwdBCb8S1I&feature=player_embedded

    xo.

    Angie

    thehotnessyourmommawarnedyouabout.blogspot.com

  193. lauren April 25, 2011 at 8:05 am

    bailey,

    i’m a friend of helena’s and just linked over from her blog. so glad i did, because this post broke my heart.

    i’m so sad to hear about your sweet baby girl. my sister has a little girl with spina bifida… so i can relate to the drama of having sonograms checking out the spinal chord. 🙂 it sucks, and i remember at the time we were so overwhelmed with the dark cloud of gloom… but the second she was born, it changed. she was and is perfect- everything has turned out so much better than we had imagined… or than google forecasted. 🙂

    last night, i got to see my niece walk for the first time on skype and she was being so hilariously clever. i promise, it’s hard to imagine- but it will be okay! even if it feels like you can’t breath, you will be able to again… soon!

    my sister delivered in dallas- they have amazing neuro doctors that are whizzes are the spine. 🙂 you and your baby are in great hands!

    hope you find some comfort in this…. if you’re blindly optimistic like me- just try your hardest to know that it actually will be okay. because it will. it might be different, but it will still be good. really, really good.

    and i watched clueless last night. cher horowitz really was my teen age muse. 🙂 loved the reference.

    lots of dorky, online, love to you!

    -lauren

  194. Max Kater April 26, 2011 at 2:44 am

    Just returned from our Easter break to read your heart-breaking news. Now you know what it is to be a Mother, My Dear. It never stops being scary and the fierce desire to protect and keep your child safe will never cease. Welcome to Motherhood! But there will be a time in the not-too-distant-future when all of this worry will seem like a distant memory. Promise.

    And I agree with comments above that you will persevere and will come out the other side a stronger, better Mother. We are sending you and your family big love and our very best wishes from Down Under.

    xox, MaxK

  195. Sara April 26, 2011 at 9:49 am

    I am just reading this post and am at a loss for words. You seem like a very strong women and have a supportive husband so you will make it through. Good luck with everything…I will be following along with your journey.

  196. Veronica April 26, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    Hi Bailey,

    You are a true inspiration! You have strength, beauty, and courage, yet real fears, that all are important in this journey for you. Since starting medical school, I’ve learned many things about pregnancy and neonatal care. If you ever have any questions, do NOT hesitate to contact me – veronica.s.parker@gmail.com. We’ve recently had two couples that have had babies in our class. They each dealt with similar, serious, pregnancy/delivery altering challenges, but I’m excited to say that they’ve been blessed and life is moving on splendly with their new cuties.

    Trust in your doctors at Texas Children’s – they are wonderful and dedicated, not to mention they work in one of the best medical centers in the country and world. It will be so nice to have your family and best friends around you. Your positive energy and unconditional love for your baby girl (and Pete) will carry you through. You will make amazing parents, and will be a mother I’d strive to be. Keep posting on your nursery, enjoy your last moments in Chicago, rejoice in your moving home to Texas, and most of all have a very happy Mother’s Day!

    All my best and warm thoughts,

    Veronica Parker

  197. Kat April 26, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    Bailey,
    My heart is aching for you and Pete. What a scary time for you and your little nugget. I am sending prayers and good thoughts your way, and can’t wait to read that your baby girl is safely here!

  198. Chelsea April 27, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Hi Bailey, I just found your blog yesterday and this post today. I walk by your lovely home everyday taking my daughter to school and saw it was for sale, posted about its awesomeness and someone commented it was yours, which led me here. The amazing small world of the internet and blogs! My thoughts are with you, your husband and your baby girl in this scary but also very special time in your life. Sending you nothing but good, strong and courageous wishes for a beautiful beginning and life for your baby and family.

  199. cara @ City Girl Chicago April 27, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    Thank you so much for being so brave and sharing your story ~ you have me sniffling over here at my office chair! Chicago will miss you, but you and your little nugget will be so happy in good hands I know. I’m also a “optimist” as you describe it exactly, and I (being an optimist and all) think that positive thinking helps create positive results. So keep your head up girl, you and nugget are going do great!

  200. Chelsea April 27, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    and ps, on a completely different note, your home is beautiful and inspiring. it’s so nice to see something so refreshing and unique and playful. you are going places, girl, big places! :0)

  201. Julie @ Chapman Inte April 28, 2011 at 6:55 pm

    Bailey.

    I have no idea what it would be like to learn things aren’t going as expected (and I can’t imagine. I too think I can change most situations with thinking they aren’t really that bad, or there’s always a solution, or being generally overly optimistic). So this situation blows. If you need to be in Portland (oregon) for any fancy hospital stuff, you can use my house. And my bed. And my car. And anything else you’d need. Anything.

    Prayers for you.

  202. erika April 29, 2011 at 10:02 am

    bailey,
    i am way behind on blog reading but just read this and want you to know that i am praying for you and your sweet baby girl and your family. God will provide. I am praying for peace and healing.
    lots of love,
    erika

  203. Julia April 29, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    Bailey, I’m pretty sure this is the first comment I’ve left on your blog and I hate that all the funny crap you say doesn’t get a response but your scary situation does. My babygirl was born with a condition called craniosynostosis. My OB missed a possible pre-natal diagnosis during three ultra-sounds that should have caught it but thankfully our pediatrician on hand during my c-section noticed the problem immediately and snatched our baby away for MRI’s and testing. It was so terrifying to experience anything but perfection after having such an easy pregnancy. I can honestly say I was thankful this happened as a first time mom because I didn’t know any better. Only now, nine months and two surgeries later can I realize just how stressful it all was. I’m praying extra hard for you and Pete and that sweet little baby girl that y’all can find some peace and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. I was amazed at the strength and resilience my seven week old showed me during her first surgery and I am so thankful and proud to be her momma. I know you will all get through this!

  204. leah May 10, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    Love, blessings and prayers xxx

  205. Chantal May 20, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    I am so tearful right now. I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. Thank you so much for sharing! Sending you lot’s of love and blessings. xx

  206. Dakota January 20, 2016 at 7:40 pm

    I was deeply moved by your story. I will pray for you, your family and your darling,sweet,sweet girl. God Bless.

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