Pete is leaving me for the weekend alone with BabyG…For like, 4 days. On one hand I am excited for lots of momma baby time, on the other I look like a less cute version of this puppy all “Oh no!! How am I going to eatshowergotothebathroom!!!!”
Which might not be the worst thing in the world as I contemplate embarking on The Humiliation Diet. I’d like to think of it more like an accountability diet. And actually I would like not to think of it as a diet at all, and more just the way to get my life back. I don’t want to post my weight every day, because I don’t want to weigh myself every day and stress myself out. And I also don’t want to post my actual weight because 1. Ouch and 2. It is not about the actual number, and I don’t want to get into a comparison with anyone else. I remember reading back in the day that Tyra Banks was a size 10 and being like, I’m a 10!! I’M A SUPER MODEL!!!!! Well no, Tyra Banks is also 6 feet tall. I am 5 foot nothing. We wear clothes slightly differently.
The cold hard facts are these. I gained 70 pounds while pregnant with Girly McBaby. Yes, part of that is because I was told not to worry about gaining weight by my doctors who were concerned she would be premature, and felt that it was more important to get weight on her any way possible. And she was born healthy at 8.1 pounds so I don’t regret it. But I also know gaining 70 pounds wasn’t doctors orders. It was because I was sad and ice cream is like prozac and really, I just have issues with food. And most importantly, I do not want to pass on my issues with food to my baby girl. I want her to learn from my healthy habits, and my positive body image, and so it is time to get serious.
I think instead of posting my weight every day, or even once a week, I am going to write about my progress towards my goal every Friday. I won’t bore y’all with the details because I am sure a lot of you reading this now are like what the eff do I care about your large bottom. That’s your gross problem. Fair. I also know a lot of you read MODG and she is doing something similar. I have been following along and participating and I am not trying to copy her or steal her thunder, but I need more accountability than I get hiding out in her comment area.
So here I am.
35 pounds away from my goal. I am doing this for my baby, and also a lot for my own comfort and vanity. And health and all that. And skinny jeans. Because there is nothing more insulting to ones ego than being fat in the age of SKINNY jeans.
If any of you want to share tips, as so many have been kind to do in answer to my twitter cries for help, or join along with me, comment along. So here we go, no more cake porn, no more bitching about my weight or fishing for compliments, just hard work and progress.