Is more cowbell.
And likewise with wallpaper.
I am addicted. And the only cure for my addiction is more. Currently 5 rooms in my house are wallpapered. And I hunger for more.
Specifically.
Him in my office.
Him in my laundry room.
And her in Gracie’s bathroom.
I mean, I need to stop…Right?
8 rooms is too much.
But what about…like…6 rooms?
Which 1 do you think needs to happen??
…Thought I would find myself in a skinny jean at my current weight class. Much less a PATTERNED skinny jean. Pattern draws the eye like a beacon, and as much as possible in life I would prefer the spotlight to not be on my ass.
And yet, here we are!
Don’t mind my surroundings in the picture, I am not currently being held in Saw’s torture chamber. That’s just where I have been taking on my client projects lately. And the only room in the house with a full length mirror.
The best part about those dotty skinnies? They are SO COMFY COZY!
They are the AG Polka Dot Ankle Stevie.
I feel like a whole new woman getting dressed and not putting something with a significant spandex (read lulu lemon) component on my hind parts for the first time in a year. It is a good thing.
So now I am considering these:
Too much of a good thing?
Anyone have them? How do they fit?
I am sort of anti buying real clothes until I am at a more stable point, but I feel like having something to wear that makes me not feel like a slob currently is important. And the thing about these statement jeans is that I can wear them with flats and a tshirt and look like I know anything about what is going on in the current world of fashion, and can still roll around and play with my butterball.
But please, tell me the truth. Have I lost my mind? Are AG brand jeans like sisterhood of the traveling magic pants and that is why they fit so well, and all other brands will crush my soul?
This is unfamiliar territory and I need you people.
Ladies and Gents, I cannot even tell you what a ghetto copy paste operation we were running over here. I would toil for hours trying to screen grab and arrange my little decor boards, and the results were fine. They did the job. But then I would go over and see Jenny, or Jamie and be like WTF why do their dreamscapes look so dreamy! And mine are so sad??
Well luckily Jenny is the magnanimous sort and clued me into gimp.
gimp is a powerful thing.
gimp can turn this:
Into this:
(FYI I removed all of my designery advice and instructions from these boards, people pay good money for those pearls, I can’t very well give them away to all of you for free!)
Gimp can make your imagination sing.
Gimp can help the blind see. Like some of you might look at this and be like, what in the world does that mean?
THIS!
This is what that means!!
Gimp can show you how what you have will look with my fairy dust.
Gimp is also a super unfortunate word when you say it too many times in a row.
And anyway, I really just wanted to show off my savvy new tech skills.
And thank all of you who have written asking about my design services.
I actually have a waiting list of clients now.
But it is not too too long, and I am feeling super inspired and am working through my current projects at quite a clip, so if you are thinking about hiring me to boss you around, email me and get yourself on the list!
peppermintbliss@gmail.com
The bachelorette party wasn’t nearly as damaging to my diet dreams as I had thought it would be. Despite the fact that I literally placed a handful of cake into my mouth on more than one occasion.
But by some miracle this week I am down another 1.5 pounds. 8 pounds overall. 8 pounds in 8 weeks. I can live with that.
And I am finally in a 10 pound weight range I can live with. I am back in a range I have come down from before. I can see the light.
And can I tell you something that is going to make me very unpopular, probably?
I stopped focusing on my diets.
It is all calories in, calories out. It matters a lot less what those calories are than most diets would have you believe.
My mom always jokes about an old comic strip of two chubsters visiting the proverbial guru on top of a mountain and asking him, “Sensai, what is the secret to weight loss!”
And he looks at them and says “Consume less calories than you burn”.
I generally consume less calories when I allow myself to have refined carbohydrates. A handful of goldfish can do wonders for me psychologically, while consuming only real fish and vegetables is going to immediately make me reach for a bottle of syrup.
I am basically like Elf. Candy, Candy Canes, Candy Corns, and Syrup.
Except for me that is string cheese, gold fish, apples, and pasta.
My main food groups.
Cutting them out entirely from my repertoire always leads to diet failure.
But obviously you can’t lose weight eating string cheese, gold fish, and pasta with abandon. So I eat them, but I limit them. I also limit my meat consumption, maybe a bite or two. I just don’t really like eating meat.
That’s what she said.
But I don’t. Turns out, I superlove vegetables. Brussel sprouts, eggplant, broccoli, kale, spinach, zucchini, I love it all.
So every other night for dinner, I basically eat a giant bowl of vegetables. And I am happy and satisfied. And I rarely feel the need for something sweet after. And I don’t really feel like I am on a diet, because of the quantity of vegetables you can consume with relatively little calorie consumption. It’s like a smorgasbord!
Who knew that is how you spelled smorgasbord?
Anyway. I think you just need to be honest with yourself about what works for you. If you have Gwyneth like willpower, then cross fit and paleo diet away! More power to you, you are going to get there way faster than I will.
But if that crushes your soul, you’re not going to do it. You are going to find little tiny sneakycat ways of cheating every day, in almost imperceptible ways, and you aren’t going to make progress.
So I am sure you are all giving me the side eye right now and dying to tell me how wrong/dumb I am, but be nice!
Tell it to me gently.
And tell me about your progress!
…I actually do know my way around a DIY project it turns out.
Well, when I have my hand held by Jenny.
But still!
Remember that china cabinet?
Well it is going to these clients.
And I went to town on it for the better part of last week.
Firstly, driving it home was not safe. Tailgate open. One tiny piece of twine. Livin’ on the edge.
Then, I sanded, taped off the glass, removed the hardware, and primed.
I let that dry…or if you are fancy “cure” for 24 hours and then went in with a coat of Benjamin Moore icey blue in high gloss on the inside.
And Tarrytown Green in high gloss on the outside. 
I let the first coat dry for 24 hours, and then went back in and did a second coat on the inside and let it dry for a day.
Then a second coat on the outside and let it dry for a full day. I did the inside and outside on separate days so that I could get the lines where the blue and green meet really clean.
Things I learned: After I removed the painters tape I had to clean up some paint that got on the glass with a razor blade. I might have removed the doors. It would have made it easier, but the hinges looked a little wonky and I was intimidated. If you are going to do a foam roller, you need the super high quality dense kind. The others are garbo. Oil paint you don’t want to overwork…but regulah old paint? Werk it. I thought I had specified oil, but after a full day of painting in a hazmat mask I realized, no stench…checked the cans…not oil. Dumb. Dumb. Dodo.
I went to town on the brass pulls with decent results, and overall, I think it be lookin’ real good.
I am not going to lie, it was a lot of work. A few hours a day, for about 5 days. But SO satisfying.
Any of you have some redos you wanna share? Furniture painting tips?
